I’m not sure a theme exists that’s used, critiqued, revolted against, loved, and debated more in film than sexuality. And to be fair, it’s just in films where these things happen. Sexuality in television, books and music bring out the same reactions. Sex is one of the most normal human activities. Everyone does it. Young and old. Short and tall. Thin or big. Having sex is something the majority of us are capable of doing. And yet, in film and in television, it’s often the most controversial topics. Too much of it and censors and producers will be at a director’s door telling them to turn it down it down a notch. Fans and critics will say that it’s being used as a substitute for plot and substance. If you show too little sex than you’re a prude. But when sex is displayed honestly and correctly, it can evoke the same emotions that the actually physical act does: excitement, pleasure, shame, laughter, fear, and even embarrassment. Below I’ve picked two movies that I think do a good job of displaying a wide range of how humans deal with sex, desire, and human connection. This topic had way too many options, so I made a list of others films that I like. There’s no way to pick them all.
Shame
Year: 2011
Director: Steven McQueen
Country: United Kingdom
With any Steve McQueen film, you’re going to get a raw and uncensored look into the way we live. There will be an honest depiction of the ways we exists in this world, but dare not speak about. In his 2011 film Shame, Michael Fassbender plays Brandon Sullivan, an executive with a sex addiction. He uses the façade of a man with his life in order and head on straight to hide who he truly is. Masturbation, sex toys, risky sexual encounters with men and women, and internet porn, fuel and fill his life. It’s an addiction, and he’s aware of it, but he has no plan to change his ways. He’s been careful the whole time. Things begin to change when his sister Sissy (Carrie Mulligan) arrives unannounced. His level of concentration and carefulness concerning his sexual proclivities begins to slip and he’s almost found out on multiple occasions.
I’ve picked Shame due to it’s honesty. It’s an unflinching look at addiction and self-destructive behavior. It’s not a happy film, and for some people, it won’t be a film they watch more than once. But once is all you need for it to open your yes. You’ll leave wondering how normal your own sexual activities are. And you’ll wonder about the sexual activities of the people around you. You never really know who anyone is on the inside. That’s terrifying and intriguing at the same time. McQueen has done an incredible of capture that volatile mix of emotions with this film. We’re all hiding something. But how much damage is that secret we’re hiding doing to us? That’s what I feel is being with this film.
If I had to list one downside of the film, It would have to be the fact that Fassbender’s actions seem empty. We don’t get a whole lot of why he’s at the point in his addiction that he is. It makes it seem like he’s doing it just because, which could be true, but it also seems like something else is just beneath the surface pushing further into the depths of his addiction. It would have been nice to have that explored more. But I love the film anyway. Check it out!
Y Tu Mama Tambien (And Your Mother Also)
Year: 2001
Director: Alfonso Cuaron
Country: Mexico
Alfonso Cuaron’s Y Tu Mama Tambien, is one of the greatest coming-of-age tales. In it, friends Julio (Gael Garcia Bernal) and Tenoch (Diego Luna) are two 17-year-old boys from differing backgrounds. Tenoch comes from and upper-class family, and Julio is from a working-class family. And despite that difference, their appetite for sex is something they have in common. After their girlfriends leave for trip to italy, the two boys decide to live a carefree live. They are able to convince Luisa (Maribel Verdu), the wife of Tenoch’s cousin, to join in search of a secret beach. What comes next is a journey, both literally and figuratively, of sex and passion. The three pass the time talking about their sexual experiences, having sex with one another, and reveling in the act.
It may sound like this film is just one long hedonistic road trip, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Cuaron does an incredible job of adding weight and substance to the intimate and sexy film. Tensions rise between the two boys as they begin to share truths about their lives at home, and as they fight for the affection and attention of Luisa. Luisa is dealing with the boys, a husband that has cheated on her, and what we come learn at the end of film, the fact that she knew she was in poor health.
What I like so much about this film is joy of sex that Cuaron was able to depict. The open and unabashed talking about their exploits and desires. It’s fun! It’ll even make the most open of people blush. But he was able to capture how lost a person can get in the throes of lust and desire. Now, in today’s world, there would definitely be pushback against the fact that a grown woman was riding around and having sex with two teenage boys. I’m almost certain that would be a huge problem. But there is something refreshing about watching this woman within reach of deaths grasp getting what she wants. She desires something and then goes and retrieves it. There’s no hesitation. She’s unapologetic. She always seems firmly in control.
Other Films:
9 1/2 Weeks
She’s Gotta Have It
Nymphomaniac
Basic Instinct
The Handmaiden
Moonlight
Secretary
Insecure (Not a film, but the sex scenes in this shown are always pretty honest and even clumsy sometimes)
and so many more!
